5 reasons you need to dump your loser friends

5 reasons you need to dump yur loser friends5 reasons you need to dump your loser friendsHigh school was leid easy for me. I never cared for the teenage wasteland parties. An exciting Friday night in my little Wyoming town was to drag main and turn up the volume on our car radios. Girls got married and guys got drunk.I wanted to be somewhere else. I wasnt the only one. Most of us made the decision to leave sometime in middle school, years before the idea hit consciousness in our senior year. Those who didnt leave also knew by middle school that theyd never make the one-way trip out of town.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraAn interesting pattern started to develop among my classmates. Those who had a low opinion of their own worth chose new friends that confirmed it. Maybe they didnt believe they deserved any better. Perhaps they were too lazy to look for something better. Even wo rse, if they surrounded themselves with loser friends, they started to look like the winner of the bunch.Not everyone who chooses to stay behind is a loser, so lets define loser friends.They are people whoAre not supportive of you.Not there when you need them.Tend to be negative about everything.Agree with everything you say.Only show up when they need you.Have no desire to make their life better.Expect you to drop everything when they have a crisis.Tend to think everything that relates to them is a crisis.Most of us have loser friends, toxic people who disrupt our world as soon as they come onto the scene. Wimps are people who are too lazy and too timid to cut ties from loser friends and move on so they can improve their lives.We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with- Jim RohnSimply put, the law of averages tells us that the result of any given situation will be the average of all outcomes. We are influenced by the people with whom we spend the most time. T hey create the environment that influences the way we think, our self-esteem, and our decisions. We will interact with many people over the course of our life, but the few who are closest to us have the greatest impact on our way of thinking and our decisions.Plato once said, People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.Pick the people you spend time with care- they create the environment in which you will either thrive or wilt. While we need different types of personalities in our life to bring out the best in us, only share your dreams and goals only with those who value them as much as you do.Here are 5 Reasons you need to dump your loser friends so you can1. Surround yourself with friends who will give you honest feedbackThe Journal of Consumer Researchrecently published a study that summarizes the difference between amateurs and experts. Amateurs focus on positive feedback and want to hea r what theyre doing right so they can continue on the same path.Experts do not care about what theyve done right. Instead, theyre more interested in how they can make progress. They dont surround themselves with sycophants and other bootlickers who dont have the backbone to be honest in their feedback.As entrepreneurs and geschftliches miteinander owners, your focus shifts as you become more of an expert in your field. Your confidence is not affected by negative feedback, just as long as its constructive and honest.How to make it work for you Its important to be surrounded by people who want the best for you and will be there when you need them. But, its also necessary to keep people around you who will provide you with constructive criticism and not just vacuous positivity.Theauthor of the study abovebelieves the onus is on the person who provides the feedback. Often negative feedback is buried and not very specific. Encourage your circle of friends to be specific and straightforwa rd with their critique.2. Establish a benchmark for your inner circleWe all have different friends for different seasons in our life. Its been said that the way we do anything is the way we do everything. So, be intentional about the people you select to be in your inner circle. If you have a friend you wouldnt recommend to a close family member, why do you spend time with them yourself? Remember, a wimp is someone who settles for loser friends because its the easiest path.Choose friends who are dependable and honest. Select people you admire, show you love and respect, and reciprocate your kindness.How to make it work for you Ask yourself whether spending time with this person will lift you up or drag you down? If you spend time with this person, will they help you to become your best self? Will you be happier after spending time with them? Will they help you achieve your most important goals? If not, find friends who will.3. Make room for a mentor or twoLoser friends are not known for or respected for their knowledge and skill sets. They do not champion your success nor have they expressed a great deal of confidence in your abilities. Turn that upside down and you have the perfect description of what you should look for in a mentor. You deserve to surround yourself with people who believe in you and are willing to build a relationship with you. Above all, good mentors will always challenge you and encourage you to take risks.One of the best moves you can make in life is to surround yourself with friends who see the eignung in you that you may not even see in yourself. These are the people who give you permission to follow your dreams.Enthusiasm is contagious. The best mentors are enthusiastic about what they do and believe their work provides both value and meaning. They want to share that excitement with you. Most of all, they encourage you to have the same goals.How to make it work for youIn your career you will meet people who are both younger and older. Dont always assume a mentor should always be someone who is older. While older friends can be a beacon of wisdom, younger friends can keep you from getting too jaded in your work. Its often refreshing to see the world through the eyes of those who are still anxious to learn rather than teach.4. Recognize narcissists for what they areLoser friends suck life out of your aspirations because they always shift attention and energy back to themselves. They may listen as you voice your concerns but notice how they manage to inject their own situation into the conversation. Suddenly, it becomes about them and their life experiences.Narcissistsare loser friends who belittle your problems. They may offer some level of sympathy and understanding at first, but theyll soon shift the conversation into 1) how their problems are so much greater or unusual, or 2) how they solved a similar problem in the past and how great it turned out for them. On top of that, narcissists expect you to show perpetu al appreciation for their assistance and presence in your life. All thats important to them is whattheywant and whattheyneed to do to get it.How to make it work for you Set boundaries. Its difficult to reason or argue with a narcissist because they wont listen or change. One of the easiest ways to get rid of loser friends is to limit meeting times. Limit contact with them. Everyone understands that the message youre too busy to catch-up, its code for youre off my A-list.5. Walk away from weaselsAnother type of loser friend is the weasel- the one who is sneaky, conniving, and always has a scheme. Weasels can adapt to almost any situation and manipulate it to suit their own needs. Not sure one of your loser friends is a weasel? Here are some characteristicsWeasels can appear as harmless to your face, which is why you need to watch your back. They love to take credit even when its not warranted and do not like to collaborate with others. Weasels also tend to be guarded so they can conc eal their true intentions or plans. They are not trustworthy and love to meddle in the business of others.How to make it work for you While narcissists are selfish weasels are mean-spirited little people.Run away from them if possible. They cannot be redeemed as friends so you waste your time if you plan to rehabilitate them. When you remove a weasel from your life, its not a sign of heartlessness it takesmental toughnessto kick these malignant people out of your life.This article originally appeared on LaRae Quy.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people